"I was so pleased - after all the revision, the tension of the actual exams and the long wait for the results, I opened the envelope to find myself the proud owner of 2 grade `A's in French & English, and a `B' in History. What great news! .... news I hurried home from college to share with my parents. My mother was delighted, and when my father came home and heard the news, he paused and thought for a moment, then said `what happened to the History?"'

That was a story I heard some time ago, from someone who was still carrying the hurt of not being good enough in her father's eyes. Despite the hard work and having done her best, she hadn't met his expectations.

In the vicarage family, we are in the `eye of. the storm' with all this, awaiting the results and their consequences for both GCSE and `A' level exams, and the eternal question of `gap year or not? In this, I am conscious throughout of the pressure on young people, how much is expected from them, and the twin pressure of both peer-group and parents/grandparents. Perhaps we should .be grateful to be spared the pressure-cooker of selective schooling, ( though I imply no criticism of them by this, being a `grammar-school' lad myself) - the danger being that of making children an extension of one's own success, or indeed lack of success, sacrificing their more rounded education and nurture on the altar of parental ambition alone.

We live in a world of competitiveness and job insecurity, so, of course, we want to see our young people trying to secure their future, BUT at the same time we need to help them into an understanding that academic achievement isn't the only thing to be valued. Paper qualifications need not be the only tangible evidence of a full and rounded education, nor of an automatic ticket to a full and contented life. I rather enjoyed the recent story of a head-teacher who has given it all up to be a coach-driver!

I don't imply a `climbing-down', but we do need to affirm that "you can only do your best" (as long as they have, and hack encouragement and help at the right time so to do), and that there is no sub-text " but we'll be disappointed if you fail". Whoever we are, and whatever our contact with young people, we should let them know that they are valued for the person they are. I'm glad I don't have to be a young person in today's world; J think it's much harder in o so many ways than `in my day'.

The culture of success extends far beyond the classroom; many are afraid of not just failing, but of being seen to fail, and we go to extraordinary lengths to attempt strategic cover-ups. Some live their lives in fear of a patriarchal God whose approval needs to be gained, and for whom we sense we can never be good enough, wretched, miserable sinners that we are; BUT this is a failure of true understanding of the Christian faith in God-as-Trinity. We can find it hard to believe in grace, that we are loved in Christ without needing to earn it, amazing as that grace may seem. God delights in the `A's & `B's but also in the `D's & `E's as well. God can deal with failure; it's us that find it difficult.

The story of the carpenters son from Galilee was riddled with disappointments, rejections and failures along the way, but He knew He was loved. At the heart of it all was His sense of worth and value in the eyes of His Father. That is grace, and we could do with believing in it for ourselves, and sharing it with others.

Your Parish Priest,