A VICAR STOOD IN A FISH AND CHIP SHOP

AND SAID COULD I HAVE A FISH DINNER FOR ONE

A NICE PEICE OF COD WELL COOKED WITH CHIPS

AND I THINK I WILL HAVE A BREAD BUN

DO YOU WANT TARTAR SAUCE WITH A FEW CRUNCHY BITS

AND A SASHE OF TOMATO KETCHUP WE SELL

A SPRINKLE OF SALT DUSTED OVER YOUR CHIPS

AND SHALL I LEAVE THEM AS WELL

YES PLEASE SAID THE VICAR IN HIS SOFT HOLY WAY

FOR I HAVE A LONG DISTANCE TO GO

AND THE WEATHER IS LOOKING OVERCAST AND GRAY

SO I THINK WE MIGHT GET SOME SNOW

THE VICAR THEN WHACKED A BIG FLY ON THE COUNTER

AND IT LAY STILL AND FLAT ON ITS BACK

THEN SPUN HOUND ND ROUND LIKE A TIDDLEWINK COUNTER

AND DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A SOUND IN THE FAT

THE LADY WHO SERVES THEN TOOK OUT THE CHIPS

WITH THE FLY THAT WAS COOKED NICELY BROWN,

AND PUT THEM WITH THE VICARS CHUNCHY BITS

THEN QUICKLY PUT THE LADLE DOWN

THE VICAR THEN PAYED FOR HIS COD AND CHIPS

AND START'ED ON HIS LONG JOURNEY HOME

WITH HIS MOUTH FULL OF FISH AND CRUNCHY BITS

HE CHOKED WAS IT THE FLY OR A FISH BONE

NOW THE FLY IS IN HEAVEN WITH QUITE A TALE TO TELL

FOR WHEN THE VICAR FINISHED FISH AND CHIPS

HE MUST HAVE EATEN THE COOKED FLY AS WELL

THE MORAL OF THIS ST'ORY IS NOW PLAIN TO SEA

THAT THE CRUNCHY BITS LEFT IN THE CORNER

ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE